Have You Taken Your Medicine??

i ask my daughter this question sometimes when she just doesn't seem to want to calm down. or she is acting out uncontrollably. this question means, have you had your adhd medicine today. baby girl is 6, almost 7 and has been on meds to control her adhd since she was almost 4. for someone who studied psychology in school and was a non believer, it was very hard for me to see her go through this and make the decision to give her something daily that she could not control and that altered her mind-set. we started with a low dose of focalin. later moved to a higher dose including one in the afternoon. 3 yrs on that and we are now on concerta which has been working a lot better for us. by the time i get home from work, she is in her 'wear off' phase which is fine for me. secretly i prefer her when she's not on it, altho i may say different. but when she is not 'medicated' she is her true self. she says what she wants to and her emotions are more clear altho her mind isnt.

i can recall forgetting to give her her medicine one morning. her teacher called me at work and said, "umm did makaiya take her medicine this morning?" in my head i was praying she wouldnt notice but knew that if she was calling, she had. i admitted i had forgot and would leave work to run it up there. (the only reason her teacher even knew she was on medicine was because i had forgot before and had to go up there and she questioned what kind of medicine i pulled her out of class to give her) she said, "well makaiya said 'my mom didnt give me my medicine this morning mrs burleson and i can feel it. i just cant control it mrs burleson'". yes, makaiya is very dramatic. she is also very aware that she can be a little different . very aware that she seeks and requires just a little more attention then the rest. and i tell her, it's ok. it's not a bad thing. we all have issues :)

my daughters love language is 'words of affirmation' meaning she seeks out verbally for confirmation that she is doing right. confirmation that she looks ok. confirmation for security. many times a day i hear, mom does this look pretty, as she twirls around in crazy dress up clothes. mom are you mad at me, as she studies my facial expressions. mom are you coming back, as i get up to go to the bathroom. any little thing can set her off when she is not on her medicine which causes a total blowout of crying, yelling and complete frustration. i use to think that this was every child her age but when i compare her to her brother i now know it's not. outsiders that are not familiar with this burst of energy, i dont like the term hyper, or think it's normal for her age, tend to say i do not discipline her enough. i let her get away with anything, or she has a smart mouth. this is far from the case. my baby girl just has a strong opinion, like her mother, that she developed earlier in life than most. she speaks from her mind and her heart and just hasn't learned how to hold back things yet. i can't punish her for that.

i went to her parent teacher conference at this new school she is in. it's a magnet school and since she will have the same teacher for 1st and 2nd grade i went ahead and made her aware of kaiya's energy. she responded with "oh i would have never known!" her previous teacher said the same thing. i truly hate this response. if i tell you kaiya has adhd and is on medicine, why would you immediately say you can't tell. didn't i just inform you she was on medicine?? the purpose of the medicine is so that you can't tell. that response makes me want to send her to school without it so that she CAN tell and have something to compare to. but i know that's not fair. it's not fair to her as a teacher, it's not fair to the other students learning. kaiya's conversation is different. her handwriting is different. even her reading skills are different when she is medicated. so much more clear and organized and neat.

i enjoy the quiet kaiya. the one that plays ok by herself. the one that can sit in her room on her ds or reading a book, or will sit in her uncle's room watching disney jr. but makaiya, the one not medicated, is much more entertaining. (we say makaiya because she's usually doing something she's not suppose to and then her whole name get called out) lol she's a special, loving, caring little girl. she holds half of my heart and is irreplaceable.