i hate moving

so I thought i'd try this blog thing after reading a few friend's. the only difference is, I'm not happily married, juggling work and family and constant traveling. i'm a  mother of two battling work, finances, dating and motherhood. im the mother of a very energetic 5yr old girl, and a 2 yr old very independent boy. before you continue, please note that I am in no way looking for sympathy or negativity. this is just a different perspective. my struggles will shape me and help me grow, making me a better person. but I love to write and constantly have stuff on my mind,,,, so here goes.

I hate moving. you wouldn't think so tho because my 5 yr old has lived in 6 different apartments in her life. but we have to. so every day I have moving on my mind.

my job is closing. well let me rephrase that. the office I have worked out of for almost 4 years, is closing. if I want to keep working for them I have to either work from home, or drive to danville  every day. I already can barely afford gas, so driving to danville is out the question. living there is a last resort. so I have to move back in town. I currently live in rantoul because rent is cheaper. so now I'm battling trying to find a 3 bedroom for under 600. yea, not likely. even a 2 bedroom with a w/d hookup would b nice. but that's been hard too.

let me explain one thing. I am not looking forward to working from home. alot of folks are. but I go to work to get out of my house. work is the only adult interaction I have. sitting in a room talking on the phone for 8hrs is not something that excites me. altho I get to do it in my pjs, still not exciting. and if I'm forced to down size to a 2 bdrm that means sitting in my room for 8 hours a day because our equipment has to be in a locked room. did I mention I now have to get cable/internet which I dont have now because it's not in my oh so tight budget. but I have to justify it by saying, that bill is cheaper then driving to danville every day.

and some say ' just put the kids in daycare in rantoul'. let me explain that one. I pay 600 a month in daycare when it really should b 1000. I am currently 1200 behind. I have been with my daycare lady since kaiya was almost 2. she is all ramir knows. no other daycare is going to let me b behind like that, and still watch my kids. plus, I dont trust anyone else to handle my special needs daughter, that's a different blog. so me moving back is so I dont have to drive back and forth to urbana every day.

yea, I pay 600 a month in daycare. I use to get child support but it is stopped at the moment. another blog. for some reason I make too much money for child care assistance. which is funny to me because I dont know anyone that can really afford to pay someone more then they pay in rent, to watch their kids. but I applied before and they denied me saying my child support was putting me over. seriously it was less then 50 bucks over. not to mention, they go off of gross. they dont consider that taxes kick my behind, I do provide insurance for my family, oh and at that time carle clinic was garnishing me  $197 every check from an unpaid medical bill. my bring home pay at the time was a lil over $700. rent and daycare alone took care of that.

and so we're back to the beginning. looking for a place to stay. urbana, or champaign. 2bdrm or 3. work from home or drive to danville. I still have a lil time to get it together right.... or I could solve all this by downsizing my job and just getting on public assistance until I go back to school, finish my degree and pray for either a good job or an athlete husband to relieve me from all this stress. and yet again, another blog.